I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
