You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
