sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
