Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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