She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
