Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
