i think i have two assholes
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
