last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
