im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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