Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
