Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
