We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
its liver damage thursday
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
