oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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