He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
