I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Two words: nipple clamps
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