Just fell off a train. Bad.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
