you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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