I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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