The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Rumble strips road head = magical
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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