i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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