I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
