lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
