We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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