but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize