you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
