i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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