im drinking this country out of the recession.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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