she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
