we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
