does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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