Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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