Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
