Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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