Me. At least after what I've been through.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize
