We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You know, be my cock's hype man.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
