i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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