you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The air taste purple.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize