turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
