FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
