no, he came in my armpit
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
