i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
