Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
