Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just got carded by a ten year old.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
