these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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