I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize
