they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
