I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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