THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
