i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
