where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
