We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she pinky promised me she was 18
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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