Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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