i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
