bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
