I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
