I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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