i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
