You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
