Grow some girl-balls and come out already
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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