How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
