I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
pray to the hookup gods
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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