my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
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So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think people are normalizing furries
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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