Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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